Roller coaster of emotions week.
For a couple of days I was really convinced I was going to end things with David.
I love him so much and he brings contentment and love to my life.
Does he bring excitement? No. Is he ambitious ? Outgoing? Neither of those things. And it scares me. I'm scared I'm 29 and living like a 60 year old.
I want someone who challenges me and who wants to be challenged. He's so British. He's polite and kind and YES he will go along with my suggestions, but I'm so bored of that. I want him to be the one with goals and aspirations for a change.
I'm not sure what'll end up happening. I know he's not my soul mate, I know he's not my dream man, but I'm not his dream girl either. He's very handsome, obliging, and cares for me deeply. I should just be grateful. I am grateful. I show it in my actions every day. I just find myself wishing for more... As everybody does.
The wintry weather here has also been dragging out like nothing else which is contributing to my unstable emotions. As I complain every year, the cold, dark, dreary weather really really gets me down. We are halfway through September and are experiencing floods, constant rain/clouds and no substantial warmth, only fleeting glimpses of the sun peeking through ominous clouds.
Having girls from school over tomorrow. Kind of dreading it. Kind of not. We'll see. They all have kids and are obsessed with their children and nothing much else so conversation may be interesting.