Had a really long, detailed dream about Robin Williams.
I was working in New York at a cake shop and I decorated cakes with his face. They were lifelike. Somehow I got the word to him and he said he'd surprise me with something in return.
He lived in an apartment high rise and I got there, the general vibe was super sad. He pulled out some photo albums and outfits he'd worn in movies. I could tell the life had been drained out of him. He looked at the photos as if they were from a different life time, a life he'd never lived.
Night time arrived and I went into a spare room to sleep. When I woke I had a shower and my sister was sitting in the main living area. Then my mum, Damian turned up and we all sat awkwardly, not speaking.
I went to the toilet and the seat was covered in excrement. They all left and Robin had also assumed I left. He had stripped down to shower and was using another bathroom but when I peeked around I could see he was urinating on the floor. I felt so sad and creeped out.
I rushed past saying "I'm not looking, I'm not looking, goodbye!" For some reason I looked an absolute mess and the apartment exit was filled with glamorous people.
Davids cousin Bronte picked me up to drive me home and I started getting texts from Robin saying your parents were shaking their heads while u were in the bathroom because u were vomiting.
The messages were spelt incorrectly and were almost nonsensical.
I have woken up feeling out of place and just sad. I've never been affected by a celebrity death, it's a strange thought to think that some people are so invested that they mourn. When Robin Williams died I cried, and when I watch any of his films I cry. Not only was he brilliant, but there's always been an underlying sadness that is actually obvious. You look at his eyes and you can see it. Why is it so many funny people have mental health problems? Do they use humor as a facade deliberately or does it just fall into place? Why are so many intelligent, brilliant people depressed? I do believe ignorance is bliss. 100%. The more you know about humanity, the more depressing life can be. That's why I never watch the news.
I want to keep writing but it's time to get up for work. Melancholy vibes. Weather still awful. Planet day this Friday. I'm a captain, gross