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Aug. 29th, 2016

Weight gain

Over the last 6-12 months I have really slackened on my eating and exercise.
It started when we got Hunter, I stopped doing morning gym. Then when I quit the gym to save money, it was still warmer weather so I was getting out for walks regularly and running the stairs. I think that was a good place for me to be in. I started slacking off with my food realizing I could get away with eating junk and not gaining weight.
I know my attitude is completely loose now and I am feeling it.
I am working out 3 days a week for 30 mins at a time, but I know that exercise does not make up for my diet lately. I can feel my pants getting tighter which is my biggest fear. Admittedly I do enjoy the fact I've filled out in the bust area again, but am beginning to feel curvier elsewhere (my hips in particular, and my thighs)
Basically I'm at a point where I don't want to get any bigger. This is my threshold. Don't get me wrong, I'm not overweight. However coming from the size I was to the size I am now wasn't easy, and feeling ashamed is the worst. The overwhelming feeling of trying to lose weight.
So lock it in Sarah. No more icecream every night. Cut back on snacks. More fresh food. Less bread. It'll be okay.

Aug. 24th, 2016

Relief

Hunter is feeling better this morning. He actually had some food and seems more alert. Such a relief. How do people with sick kids deal with it? Davids sister has been dealing with this for a year now. They had a baby with kidney problems and the poor angel has had so many surgeries and now on haemo dialysis. Those poor parents, and that poor babe. She is such a little cutie though, what a rough start to life and why does it always happen to good people?

Aug. 23rd, 2016

Heart ache

My poor puppy is super sick.
It's so awful to watch and not be able yo do anything. He's unresponsive and isn't eating (and barely drinking) we took him to the emergency vet and they did blood work to find he has a gastro infection, I'm still not sure because he is sooooo out of it, no energy to even get up and walk.
I don't want to leave him tomorrow, my worst fear is leaving him home alone and he dies, which could be irrational but with the way he is unresponsive I just don't know.

Anyway I had a dream Miranda and I (and David at some point) went to Bali with the dogs

Aug. 20th, 2016

(no subject)

Just woke from dream David had to kill a large pregnant wolf spider and it screamed in pain for hours
Then turned into a human
I wonder if people would kill insects still if they could scream in pain (and we could hear it?)
So close yo being vegetarian,

Aug. 17th, 2016

Checking in

Not a lot to say, the weather is still cold but we have had done sun.
Work is same, gym same and everyone is healthy. I'm even pooping every day.
I'm grateful still for the contentment of life right now.

Aug. 7th, 2016

Happy days

Have had a really great weekend. Friday night had dinner with Mai and played with Kai. Yesterday took Hunter to the beach and had Paul from work and his wife over for dinner. It was a good night. Then today we went to Werribee to see the new shopping center, had awesome lunch (rice workshop) which I absolutely love.
The sun is out today as well.
Then in about an hour Davids cousin is bringing their puppy over for a play, their puppy is the same breed as Hunter. I actually can't wait.

Aug. 4th, 2016

(no subject)

Argh last two nights had vivid dreams.
Night before I dreamt I was pregnant and felt the strongest elation and happiness anyone could feel. It's so weird because even now I want that feeling back but I don't want to be pregnant! I haven't felt truely happy or elated like that before.

Just now I woke from a murder dream, back at our childhood house. David was getting angry Miranda lived with us and said he wouldn't be happy until Miranda left the room. Next thing I'm living in an empty one room house across the street, someone did a drive by shooting and when I get home there's bullet holes through the glass window. The cops come to pick me up for questioning and show me the dead body under the house, it's a sweet little girl from around the corner. As the policewoman drives away I ask her to pull into the house, run in to tell mum and Miranda I'm going for an interview and Miranda's saying "you have to get all the details like who was jealous of who"... Or something like that.

This week has flown, work has been busy (but not stressful) I love that. It's the perfect situation. Today will be stressful because its stock journal day and nothing ever agrees.

Gym has been kicking my butt, Tuesday's class didn't seem that difficult but was sore yesterday, then spin was a challenge. Am glad to have a rest day.

Laying here in bed with my big puppy and hd must be dreaming because he's moving around a lot and kicking. Love him so much.

Aug. 2nd, 2016

Checking in

Life is good albeit dull and dank weather.
Just going through the motions of work routine, gym and home.
Nothing exciting, but I appreciate the contentment of it all at the moment

No extreme stress here or there, everyone is healthy, and work is going fine. Got a full weekend planned, having my colleague Paul and his wife over for a dinner on Saturday. Wow our first dinner party, I feel grown up and slightly nervous. I don't know candy at all but we are all normal friendly people so I'm sure it'll be fine...

Jul. 29th, 2016

Feeling in control

I finally went back to the doctor about my pooping and constant thrush.
I don't know if I've mentioned it in journal but I get thrush every month around the same time. I have it for two weeks until I get my period, then it starts all over again. Not only is it uncomfortable but it makes sex painful and not enjoyable.

It's been a week of ups and downs, work has been a tad stressful with auditors here yet at the same time quiet because I'm caught up by week 3. My sister got a new puppy. I'm so glad I saw my GP and got a plan of action. So happy it's the weekend.

Jul. 26th, 2016

So cold

Really, really over this cold weather
No end in sight
Just want feel the warmth
And feel my fingers again

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